My Undies Are in a Tightwadbunch.

Yes yes yes, I know. I'm being a tightwad, and my undies are in a bunch because I'm BUDGETING. But, when I'm faithful and obedient to the Lord in regards to my money, blessings poooooouur out. Blessings like peace of mind, joy, and relationship with the Fatha Of All Fathas. Word.

Adding to the uncomfortable bunch is that a season is coming that I'm going to be active in obedience to the Lord. I'm moving out of being obedient in my heart and agreeing with what the Father has for me to having a heart AND feet of obedience. This is a season of DO.

A season of DO for the Lord so that He can move. There is no way I want to hinder his work, so DO, I will. Word.

A season of living with a heavenly mindset. Word.

Uglaaaaaaaay.

Today the NorthWest has come to dear old little Modesto, California and I've decided to take a break from wedding craziness and process a few things.

How true is it that our heart's intentions can be carefully smothered by our sweet words. How ugly is it that at times, I say one thing just to do another. Notice, that isn't a question. I know the answer. You know the answer. It's uuuuglaaaaay.

Help Lord for the godly man ceases! For the faithful disappear from among the sons of men. They speak idly everyone with his neighbor; with flattering lips and a double heart they speak. Psalm 12:1-2

How can I pass judgement on another when I've got a freaking boo-boo in my own eye? I can. I do. I sin. A lot.

This is what I'm realizing: Life is so much smoother when I'm open about my feelings and issues. I don't feel like I'm hiding anything...you know why?? Because, the freedom from my bondage releases me to live out my identity in Christ. I am who I am in Christ. IN CHRIST! With a name like that to back me up, of course I feel good!

And with that said, I'll end with this:

God give me EVERYTHING you have made available for me and want to give me!

Living Room Chat: The Heart of the Issue

One of the toughest things to do when walking in the supernatural and balancing your purpose here in the physical realm is obeying the voice of the Lord and being okay with not seeing the results. Obedience is followed by knowing that God doesn't
need us to take matters into our own hands to make sure things get done.

This is one of my deep struggles. I'm a Type-A. I form strategies and get the job done all the while striving for excellence and perfection (automatic failure right there)I have reasonable achievable goals and tools I use to see those goals through. It's a good thing, when given a job by the Holy Spirit. But, here's my downfall: When I've done my part-the thing God has asked me to do, I can tend to take matters into my own hands.

WHO AM I!? I don't formulate the plans of God! No! My job is to walk in obedience not to say "Okay God, I'll take it from here, thank you." Everyone has their own reasons for control and here's mine-I don't want to wait. If I wait I think I'll miss my chance. I like to be in control. I need to understand that there's so much reward in waiting on God's timing.

In the season of waiting, there is much refining, and that is important before I walk in the blessing. Without being refined, I will not be equipped for the next season God has formed for me. How stupid would I be to miss out on all of that.

I'm learning to let go of strongholds, I'm learning to let go of the control my flesh desires. It's a hard process!

Reading...

...The Happy Intercessor by Beni Johnson....I can't put this thing down!

Time to Be Honest

Cant get rid of this anxious feeling. It's not too much caffeine, it's not the fact that I'm leaving friends in California. It's because I haven't spent time in the word. i have not had quiet time with the Lord.

How crazy. When you skip a day of scripture reading, the feelings of anxiousness and ultimately sadness literally wear you down all day.

When I skip a day of reading the Word I can NOT function properly. I can't converse, I can't think, and I can't fellowship normally. It's because I haven't invited and opened my heart to the Spirit. It is so important to make a daily decision to invite the Lord to speak to my heart and lead me in the Spirit.

15 minutes of reading in the morning, one day a week isn't enough fuel to keep me breathing for the whole week.

Thank you Lord for your gracious heart.

One, Maybe Two Weeks at A Time

This next week I'm praying for these things DILIGENTLY and for a PURPOSE

That I may know God's heart and our hearts are one
That He give me divine appointments
That His wisdom dwells in me
That He speak to me in every moment
That I walk, breathe, and think in the Spirit
That I have the ability to understand and have Discernment
That the confidence of Christ rise up in me and pour pour pour over
That I can patiently wait...

My Romance is a Steamy One!

I just love having the satisfaction of knowing that God would use a foolish, over dramatic, needy, loud-mouthed human like me to represent his glory! It just goes to show that He has a good sense of humor and a gracious heart.

I declared this quiet Monday afternoon to be my date time with Jesus. Can I just say that no matter how needy or deprived of attention I think I am, God always comes through! I don't even need to be feeling unloved and he'll remind me, "hey girl, I know you feel like a millions bucks right now, but you DO STILL NEED MY LOVE, you butthead!"

Thanks Jesus for keeping it real!
"He who glories, let him glory in the Lord," 1 Corinthians 1:31

At 5:00p.m.-an hour into the date, I feel the presence of the Lord just fall on my shoulders. Physically pressing me forward. I knew the Lord was about to say something, so I waited.

"For the Kingdom of God is not in word, but in power." 1 Corinthians 5:9

"Morgan, my kingdom is here, right here next to you, outside of Starbucks, and in your car when you drive home! I'm in your house, yes you can read about my kingdom int he Scriptures but my kingdom is IN you! It's in you!"

Whoa God, alright God, let me get a hold of myself! This isn't just a "Let's talk about the weather and flowers date," we're getting deep!

If God had a top 10 list of what he wanted believers to do, I think this would be on that list...

HAVE A PASSION FOR THE SUPERNATURAL.

If we believe that Jesus is coming back to take us home after already dying, we can believe that the same power that raised him from the dead is available to us and can encourage wounded hearts, physical injuries, conflicts, and generational curses! We can believe that we can receive words for perfect strangers and then obediently communicate the message to them.
It's like the couple that complains there isn't anymore passion or fun and that their relationship has just dwindled to putting up with each other.
For some, their walk with God has become conditioned, predictable, maintained. In the name of Jesus, I rebuke that from my life!

I don't ever want my romance with God to become predictable! Ever! My passion to know His heart can never dwindle to merely maintaining a friendship. No, this is fiery, deep, dangerously, dangerous love!I want Him to be able to approach me about giving a word to someone in the grocery store!

The only thing I want to be predictable about my love affair with God, is that every single day, he knows he has my heart!

Reposted:Reused.

I posted this a long while ago, but it still has validity for the church...

Changes have been happening in the life of morgan pretty frequently now these days. i've seen past the dirty windows and have gained new perspectives.
i've walked through the door and have seen things for what or who they really are. stumbling in a new set of shoes through a hallway i've never been, its scary to tell you the truth.
now i have a heart for recovering drug users.
teens who are stuck in the middle of choices.
homeless with a home. catch my drift?
its refreshing actually, to step out of my daily routine of making sure my clothes are nice and my makeup is blended into a world of complete humbleness.
these people are happier than i am in some ways. "you have it made" says the world. nah, having it made is shallow and too comfortable. "live on the edge," i say!

the definition of perfection is waking up to a world that says, "you cant," defying them by saying you "can" and proving them wrong. not by actions or by wealth. by pure joy and contentedness. don't embrace just the day. open your arms to the rest of your life.

i'd like to see the family wearing Dolce and Gabbana , hug people wearing Dirt and Garbage.

the day i'll be absolutely happy is the day i see dirty, smelly, toothless sons and daughters of Christ walk through a church door and be completely embraced by the church.

a family.

the day believers become a family is the day the child of God who lives under the bridge and the upper class church goer, sit by each other in church, holding hands while they pray, praising the same God, are involved in the same home group, and hold each other accountable. now that's a family.

A Love Story.

There are fewer moments more precious to me than the times I am alone and can pound on my piano or play my guitar with all the energy I have-all for the sole benefit of encouraging my Lord's heart. He takes such pleasure in these intimate moments of worship. In return, he gives me the satisfaction of knowing that I am my beloved's. I am the one he is crazy about.
If he had a Facebook, he'd stay up all night just to get a chance to IM with me. If he had my number, my phone would blow up from all the calls and txts from God. But...he has no FB and no phone. So I'll settle for his always-accessible quality time.
It's rad having my heart be in the hands of someone so gentle and endearing but passionate about who I am. I AM IN LOVE WITH MY CREATOR. The joy in my heart cannot be contained-it's going to explode!
This is a love story I do NOT want to miss out on!

Listening to:

Grand Illusion: It Comes and Goes

This morning, I woke up and my hair touched the ceiling.
The real Morgan Quinonez: Exposed.

A quick second to validate human emotion: Besides looking like a rooster this morning, I walked out the door feeling unvalidated and un-special. There hadn't even been any conversation with a human being. I simply had traded the Monday Blues for Tuesday.

So I psychoanalyzed myself like I knew what I was doing. It didn't work.
Then I tried giving myself a pep talk on the drive to work. Literally.

"Morgan, snap out of it. You're thinking like a 12 year old girl. Clear your head you idiot. What's you freaking problem."

After I encouraged myself, I realized I had done nothing to improve my stupid state of insecurity.

BAM!
God goes, "MY GRACE IS SUFFICIENT FOR YOU WOMAN! Joy is a choice! You're making the wrong choice today! Let my love be enough! Trust my love enough!"

Yeah, that's right. :) And we lived happily ever after.

Everyday you have to remember to receive the Love of God. It's easier said than done for type-A control freaks of my kind. But we have to GET 'ER DONE if we want to live with joy.

Best Friends in Action: Punch 'em to Death!

First things first, I know there are many more followers of my blog who haven't clicked my "follow" widget on the right hand side of this page. Please do! You can hop on the band wagon and request subjects for me to focus on. (Questions included).


My best friend CALLED me out today. She said "Morgan, you need to work on facing the issues you have with people instead of waiting for them to speak first."

Punched. Right. In. The. Gut.

Because it's true!
I am such a coward!

After pitying myself for the rest of my workday, I came home, put on my pajamas (Sure sign I'm in mourning) and wondered why it is that I chicken out when it comes to communication.

Because it means I have to be vulnerable.
I'm a work in progress! Perfection is for people who live in heaven...not quite there yet :)

I love the grace of God and how He is always re-teaching us the same lessons over and over again with love, patience, and kindness.

All the Single Ladies

SINGLE LADIES, you have been on my heart very heavily the past few days and I know you (we) have many fears and insecurities. I feel there are a few specific things I need to speak to.

I know God is my father, lover, and friend, and that he is to be my first love, but why do I feel like there is another place in my heart where another love is being kept and nurtured for someone else?

So many young women are haunted by this feeling, some feel guilty that they feel lonely when they know God is to be their everything. Let me tell you, God designed us to love and to WANT to be loved. We are made to be like him, in his image. God is a being who loves romance! He desires our love and attention and affection. He designed all those chemicals and wires in our complicated brains that make us feel like we're floating when someone pursues us! But in the process of desiring someone to love; a boyfriend or husband, we must recognize that the Lord deserves to be loved more so than anyone else. And in order to have the blessings that come with loving someone, God must be given first place and first priority.

This last season I was in was hard, extremely difficult because I was in that same place where my desire was to love someone and have someone love me. My desire was and still is to serve someone and love them the way Christ loves his bride, the church. But that desire took center stage and tore the spotlight away from God. It was a huge revelations when I realized I CANNOT LOVE UNLESS I LOVE CHRIST FIRST. Christ is love and if we as women want to have a meaningful relationship with a man of God, then we need to be plugged into God's source of "love energy" so that WE can be renewed and WE can understand the ways in which we need to love.

Ladies, by nature we are designed to nurture, commit, and sacrifice. That's why when we find a significant other, we in our minds commit until the end. This is a blessing and a curse!! :) I want to tell you sisters that we need to control our desires to nurture, commit, and sacrifice outside of marriage. It's dangerous to act on these things. We need to be satisfied as single women of God, in God's arms. It's not wrong to want to be loved and pursued, but I hope and pray you understand that God is the ultimate lover. He knows our needs, can meet them, he understands our passions and is passionate WITH us. He loves like a wild man and isn't ashamed to express it! Could we ask for anything better?? Just know, that as women, we cannot effectively and truly love until we experience God's love and continue to maintain and nurture our own love for Christ.

When we are satisfied with God's love, then we can begin to understand what it means to love someone else.

Our day will come!!
Morgan

After Six Thousand Days. give or take a few.

I'm home. Back to my beautiful cultured homeland. Back to my vintage stores and knitting needles. Back to sipping my tea and chatting with good people.
My peace is found in the Northwest because God loves us better here.

FrappaFriends

Sitting on a couch sipping my latest mix of coffee and flavor in my hometown; Modesto, California. So far the heat has been preventing too many adventures so that's left us to get up at 4 AM in order to get things done. Sunday will hit 100.

destiny

when god created me, he created a spirit.when god created my spirit, he created a language only he and i know. this kind of love is accessible to all.

THIS is How it is

To be this tired can only mean one thing: My rest will soon come.
So this is how it begins.

Here in Spirit, Hear in Song

Sunday May 16-Burnside, to see Freelance Whales.

A calming day with a few friends to take the mind off of deadlines.

womans and mans: new breaks and a balanced life

stopping at a red light is not as painful anymore. i now have new glorious breaks that don't announce my arrival to everyone around me. i now no longer have to cringe when i pull up to a fellow mexican who's car DOESN'T squeal. it's okay hermano, it's okay.
the weird looks i get now are...i don't know. i can't blame my breaks anymore!

i've been trying my best not to be the obnoxious young person who blasts their music so that neighboring cars can feel the bass 10 cars down; but sometimes there are times where you have no choice: the beat is just right for the moment, the words are the story of your life, and you're just in a stinking GOOD MOOD. people probably think i have small man syndrome. trying to get all "chola" on them in my black 91' honda with three hubcaps.

but seriously, when unexpected things happen-the ones that you've been waiting for but never believed would take place-it can rock you or rock your world. like praying for a job and getting one 5 hours later. AS A RECEPTIONIST...rad: rocked me.
speaking to someone i wanted put away...rocked my world. not so rad. BUT THESE THINGS HAPPEN. and what an adventure!

people, karma or not, good things happen to good people. call it what you want. you've got it coming to you. :)

sunday doesn't suddenly make me holy

i've been a cautionary christian. always analyzing and especially being skeptical of the movements of god. this is why i need a soul cleansing; to start fresh and renew my body mind and spirit. i've always thought that christians like me who have grown up in good homes wouldn't have any baggage to deal with. "i'm good to go until i do something REALLY bad" i thought. but it's so not true. i've LEARNED faith, not experienced it and because of that, this whole "walking in the spirit" thing has been mostly nonexistent. i've said "show me, prove to me you'll come through and THEN i'll believe you." that mentality has so screwed with my spiritual life. with that said, i'm on the road to recovery and victory! ;)

rad company corrupts bad morals: "I'VE HAD A REVELATION!"

fine dining, good conversation, and excellent company. thank you MARCY PIILANI for the swell friend-date and mexico flag cookie.
if eating food were a love language, it would be mine.
BACK TO ATTENTION:
"I've had a revelation!" I tell Marcy. "I know what I want."
As I spilled what had been begging to come out of my mouth for the past few days to my dear friend, I realized the power of the spoken word and the release of pent up negative energy. I wasn't speaking out a sin, just ideas and thoughts I've been processing about my future life; the introvert in me needed a new release other than my own head. POW! As soon as I spoke it, denial left me and I embraced the fact that the desires of my heart will be met.

Actually, I made it.

Finished my winter scarf.

not too far behind you

the start date for beauty school is creeping up on me. creeping, because it's weird realizing a career is a few months away. money. whaaa?
i suspect it'll be a jolly old time.

Where the Rebellion Lies

monday evening will be filled to the brim with good company making music together. lined up to be in the studio with an old friend.

you know that i love you
you know that i care
but there's a part of me
that i just don't want to share.